Week 28: The Third Trimester has Begun!

Happy New Year Baby,

We're three days into 2009, a new year. People tend to be optimistic around this time of year, time for resolutions to start some things and stop others. Odds are pretty good that for your mother and I, you are going to be the biggest/best/overwhelming thing about 2009.

We're also a week into the third trimester; the home stretch to your arrival. It's only a matter of weeks now before you get here. My stomach's full of butterflies, and your mother's stomach is getting full of you, more and more everyday.

You seemed to really enjoy Christmas this year, dancing around in your mother's belly pretty regularly. I can see you moving under her skin now, which is equal parts creepy and cool. You've also been doing this thing where you kind of snuggle down into one corner of her uterus and just sit for a while. Actually, you may be standing on your head, but we imagine you're just sitting there, pulling gently on your umbilical cord, letting your mother know you're hungry.

I try to talk to you everyday. Sometimes you kick or roll for me, most of the time you don't. Your mother says it's because you don't like to be a performing monkey. I think I can appreciate that. Every little move you make makes me laugh now. I can't say why exactly. It's not funny, but it is joyful, the first time I've ever written that word I think. You make me happy baby. When I'm not terrified of failing you, you make me very happy.

Your mother and I laugh about how she's never alone now; you're with her all the time, and you remind her of that constantly. In the shower, or the bathroom, while she's eating, or reading or driving, there you are, nudge, shuff, snuggle and bump.

Your mother's baby bump is quite pronounced now. She's lovely and round and beautiful. I told your mother that she's like a Russian Nesting Doll, and you're the next smallest Doll nestled there inside of her. And since you're going to be born with all the eggs you'll ever make, there's little nesting dolls inside of you too, already, on and on and on.

Little things about little you:

You make your mother gassy, which provides hours of amusement for me.

People who love you have already given you clothing and toys.

We'll be putting your room together soon in our new place, your first home.

I bought you a ladybug light at Ikea. It's cute. Your mother thinks I like it more than you probably will.

Your mother's uterus, (that's the one bedroom, one square-foot apartment you're renting right now) is really, really strong. And hard. So that's cool.

Food makes you move.

This month we start Lamaze classes where your mother and I learn breathing exercises and things that will help her through your arrival. Probably, it'll mostly be for me so I learn to calm down and control my own breathing so I don't hyperventilate. I have a feeling your mother's gonna be fine. And so will you Baby.

See you soon pumpkin.

Love,
Daddy

PS 'Pumpkin' is entirely negotiable. We can nail down a suitably adorable and marginally embarrassing nickname for you when you get here.

Story Time! Week 26

Baby,
We're within weeks of Christmas, the weather is cooling
down and baby-time is ramping up. We're collecting all kinds
of little clothes for you, and even looking for a new place to
live so that you have room to grow (and maybe share space
for Daddy's makeshift office).

And you are a little party animal these days. You move all the
time and I can feel you through your mother's tummy now,
bumping and nudging. I can't help but laugh out loud when you
kick me. It's an amazing feeling, with very little to compare it to.
It's weird in a way because it seems unnatural,
(nothing's ever moved around in your mother's tummy before), but
it also seems completely normal, like it's supposed to be this way.

You seem more active after your mother eats and just before bed time.
When your mother's turned on her side and getting ready to go to sleep,
you tickle her with little tap-tap-taps, like you're knocking on a door,
saying hello. Or else there's some baby in-utero Morse code that I'm
not aware of. Maybe you're saying, "give me more of that chocolate stuff"
or "baby want hamburger." The latter seems the most likely, it's still your
favorite food.

We've been reading stories to you a couple times a week. You seem to like it. If I get real close and read, you kick and nudge. I also introduced you to my favorite nursery rhyme:

In the not-too-distant future
Next Sunday A.D.
There was a guy named Joel
Not too different from you or me

He worked at Gizmonic Institute
Just another face in a red jumpsuit
He did a good job cleaning up the place
But his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into space

"We'll send him cheesy movies!
The worst we can find! (la la la)
He'll have to sit and watch them all
And we'll monitor his mind!" (la la la)

Now keep in mind he can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la la la)
Because he used those special parts
To make his robot friends

Robot Roll Call (alright let's go)
Cambot! (Pan left!)
Gypsy! (Hi, girl!)
Tom Servo! (What a cool guy!)
Crooooow! (He's a wisecracker.)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts (la la la)
Then repeat to yourself "It's just a show
I should really just relax

For Mystery Science Theater 3000"
by Joel Hodgson and Josh Weinstein

Your Mother had to help me remember some of the lines, that's why
she's the best.

Next month we're going to start playing some music for you.
Stuff like "The Beatles" and Billy Joel and Elton John. Maybe
your Mother will let me play some "DEVO."

This weekend I have to put together our first piece of baby-type furniture;
a glider for your mother. It's a kind of rocking chair that rocks smoothly,
and even reclines. I get to sit in it too. Maybe.

Pretty soon we'll be counting the days till your arrival.
Love you Baby.

Daddy

Shuf and Nudge! Week 22 P.S.

Baby,
Right now, this second, 9:13pm, you are moving around in your mother.
As she sits and reads, she's yelling out to me, "Shuf" or "Nudge" depending on what you're doing.
She just said "Nudge", then again, "Nudge."
I think your ears are burning..."Shuf"...but I'm not even talking.
I'm writing about you and you can hear me...maybe I should type softer.
Hi sweetie. I hope you're enjoying your evening.

Love,
Daddy

Baby Shuf! Week 22

Baby,
So much excitement this past week! After finding out that you're a girl, we took a tour of the hospital where you're going to be born. It's a really nice hospital, with original animation art on the walls, the perfect place for my daughter to be introduced to the world, surrounded by good drawings and paintings! So cool!!

But I think you already know all that, because you certainly seem excited about it. Your Mom says you're moving all the time now, sometimes after she eats, and sometimes (it seems) after you hear my voice and/or I'm talking about you (even over the phone!).

I've asked your Mom to describe your movements to me and she says there are two types; "Nudges," a little poke of an arm or a leg, and when you shift positions with your whole body, which I've called "Shuf." It's a term I learned from "Jellaby," a wonderful graphic novel by this cool dude named Kean Soo ( http://www.secretfriendsociety.com/index.php ) something I'll be reading to you when you get here.

So that's you lately, Shuf and Nudge, Shuf and Nudge.

Meanwhile, we're in the midst of trying to come up with a name for you. We're testing out a few on you, letting you hear it, allowing it to roll around in our mouths and ears, seeing what sticks. It's tough. We don't want to let you down on this one. It'll be your name for your whole life. It's kind of a big deal. Just like you.

If you hear one you really like, just give us a little Shuf or a Nudge. That'll help us maybe narrow it down a bit.

Talk to you soon baby girl.

Love,
Daddy

Got Labia? Week 21

I don't. But my baby does!

That's right, the wife and I made a little girl (see above). As I told the Doctor, this is her first (and last) centerfold. That indecent little arrow indicates where her action is (or isn't, depending on your perspective.)

This week has been a whirlwind. As soon as I posted last week, the wife started to feel the baby. Hah! She listened to her Daddy and kicked the mama! Way to go kid. Dad owes you an ice cream cone.

Then work was really intense (the DVD short I'm working on is on an aggressive schedule) which is good, just busy and tiring. Then on Friday, we had our second ultra-sound and voila, we know what flavor of baby we're having. She was very active during the appt. and at one point, she had her legs up, with her toes touching her face. (Already, I worry that she's going to be VERY popular with the boys).

And just like that, my world is PINK. Mother In Law is beside herself with joy at all the PINK she'll get to buy. PINK PINK PINK PINK PINK.

We have some names picked out, just some ideas, but probably won't nail anything down for a while. It is really really wonderful to know at least that much about the baby. I can say "she" and "her" instead of "baby" and "it."

I guess you could say I called it. I was thinking we were going to have a boy up until we knew we were pregnant, then, suddenly, I changed my mind. I figure it's because I am more terrified of raising a girl than a boy. But not by much.

I guess I see the world (and gender) in a very old fashioned way. Girls are treasures to be guarded and protected from the world and the dragons that hide in its shadows by the Boys that love them. Altho, some Boys (most) are dragons and some Girls (most) can knight-up for themselves just fine, i.e. my wife and some of our closest friends. Still, my instincts in this are hard to shake, even in this modern world which she will be born into. I know no sword will be sharp enough and no horse fast enough to protect her forever. But it's my job to try. I think that's what a Daddy does, so that's what I will do.

Truth be told, I just can't wait to hold her. I will be anything and everything she needs me to be, because that's my job. In a world where the worth of a Father seems devalued, and our rep has been tarnished by dead-beat-dads and worse, I have my work cut out for me. But I'm up to it.

I can learn to like PINK.

Bored Now: Week 20 Begins

Seriously Baby, we need to talk. What are you doing in there? Are you bored? Cause I am. That’s why I haven’t written. I have a solution though.

Kick your mother.

Never again in your life will I ask you to do this, but pretty please, kick your mother.

I’m serious. Don’t worry about getting in trouble, this is a freebie. Kick and punch her as hard as you can. Just so I know you’re there. We’ve heard your heart-beat twice now, which is great, don’t get me wrong, but I’m bored. I want you to be here. So that we can hang out and I can tell you all about why Godzilla and Tokyo don’t get along. Now of course, I want you to do all the baking you need to before you come out. But in the mean time, can you just let us know you’re still there, just a little heads-up for Dad?

This reminds me of when I proposed to your Mother. We were engaged for a little less than a year, and that whole time, she had the pretty ring on her finger signifying the promise of our bond and our upcoming nuptials. But what did I have to show for it? Nothing. Not a thing. And here we are again; an incredible event in my life just around the corner (you) and you wouldn’t know it from looking at me. I may as well be just some dude. She gets the pretty ring and the big, beautiful tummy (she calls it her baby fat; she’s so clever), I get to wait around and just do stuff (although, I am working on my own sympathy tummy that’s full of In N’ Out burgers instead of baking baby).

Your Mother says this is like that period in our engagement when there wasn’t a whole lot left to do to prepare for the wedding. Nothing to do but wait.

Your Mother also says she may be feeling a little something, but it also might just be gas. Which is funny. Gas is always funny (it’ll be one of the first things you learn when you get here) but this will be the only time in your life where you might be mistaken for being gas.

Sometimes I feel like you’re lost out at sea, and I want to send you a message in a bottle, in the hopes that you’ll get it one day. I guess that’s what this is, one very long message in a blog bottle. I do still talk to you through your mother’s stomach. I guess it’s a bit like praying; doing all the talking while your faith fills in the other side of the conversation.

We just reorganized our bedroom for you last night, making preparations for your arrival. Making room in our room, and our lives, for you.

I also just bought you a STAR WARS onesie. It’s so cool. It’ll be too big for about a year, but well worth the wait. I promise.

We’ve also got something else waiting for you when you get here. More from your Mother than me really, but, I know you’re gonna love them. I sure do. They’re soft and warm and wonderful. They’re called BOOBS. They’re going to be your most favorite things in the world. Likely, you’ll never get over how much you like them (even if you’re a girl, then you get your own. JEALOUS.). Say it with me now, “boobs.” Fun!

Love,
Daddy

Saturday Afternoon with Baby - Week 15 begins tomorrow

Baby,

Something surprised me this week; I'm anxious to meet you.
We're just starting week 15 and I wish you were here already. Never in my life did I think I'd want to SPEED UP this process, but I do. I can't wait for you to be here. I can't wait to see you.

You're reading with your mother right now. I'm sure it's already your favorite thing to do.
Reading about warrior babes and talking animals and adventures and things.
She started reading at four, you'll probably start before that. You'll be a nerd for books and movies, just like us, but don't worry, it sounds worse than it is. Nerd-dom has completely over-taken popular culture in the last ten years, and by the time you grow up, coolness will have been redefined once again, and it'll be second nature for you.

Right now you're in her tummy, just kind of floating, growing organs, doing stuff, resting, swimming, unborn-child type things. You get to be with your mother ALL THE TIME. Lucky.

I talk to you, though you're not supposed to be able to hear me for some time. I read that I'm supposed to speak clearly and loudly, like you're on the other side of the room. It's kind of funny, but I like to do it, and your mother likes it too. I really like the sound of my own voice, I hope you grow to like it at least half as much as I do.

This week I got excited about sharing video games with you, particularly SUPER MARIO BROS. 3 (remember that nerd thing I mentioned before?). When you get here, I will tell you all about it's above-par graphics for an 8-bit console, the cool storyline and wonderful game-play. It is a joy of pixel-based bliss. Sometimes, I'll even let you play.

I have to go get some rest now; I've been sick for two weeks. No fun, and trying desperately not to get you and your Mom sick too.

We'll talk soon,

Daddy