Sunday, March 29, 2009

Week 41, 6 days past due date IT'S BABYTIMES

You broke your mother's water this morning at 4:20am!

You are coming, closer and closer.

We've been at the hospital since 530am, and your mother just got an epidural to help her with the pain. Things are good.

I am exhausted but thrilled and relieved. I can't stop thinking and talking about you, now that I know that you're so close.

This is the greatest roller coaster of my life. YOU, baby, are the only thrill ride this Daddy needs.

I can hear your heart as I type this, strong, steady, like its always been. I can hear you coming baby.

We played you Beatles tunes and your mother and I sang through some of her contractions.

So far, this is a pretty incredible day. Your day, baby.

See you soon,


Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Week 40: 3 Days Past Due Date

Dear Baby!
Sorry we haven't touched base in a while; there's so much to share with you.

The last trimester has been a ride (for you too I'm sure). Here are the highlights:

Three Baby Showers (two for us, one for me) "Your Presence = Presents!"
When you get older, you'll become a fan of presents and parties (and presents), just like your parents did when they were growing up. You're not even here yet and already you've been spoiled by family and friends alike. There are so many people who love you, who are waiting with baited breath to meet you and hold you. These people have given you a bed to sleep in, every bit of clothing you'll wear for at least the next year, a stroller and car seat to keep you safe, toys, books, art; all of your needs (and then some) have been met by those who love you, sight unseen. It's incredible.

Hopefully, we'll be able to impart to you the importance of gratitude during your developing years. To start with, we're going to show you how much of a gift YOU are to us. I think you'll catch on.

Also, your loving uncles, The Those Guys, threw your Dad his own special day, full of go-karts, video games and good food. Turns out the best way to usher in becoming a Dad is to remember what it's like to be a kid.

Your Room
Certainly thanks to all of the above, we've been putting your room together. It will be your place, your refuge, full of bright things, and entertainment. Your mother and I worked together and built your crib, your stroller, and your chest of drawers. The only thing missing now is you.

Child Preparedness Class
This was a 5 week course that was really good for your Mom, but more for your Dad really. I learned all kinds of things that I didn't know, and knowledge is power (power over fear). Also, I saw a few live births on video. Not something you get used to exactly, but, I did notice how no matter how traumatic the labor was, there was always the same, perfect moment when baby was laid on Mom's chest and the world just fell away, leaving Mom, Dad and Baby to just stare at one another, finally breathing the same air, face-to-face. Rest assured, you're going to have one hell of an entrance yourself, heralded by ticker-tape parades and fanfare; by the way, the deafening squeals you're gonna hear is nothing to be worried about, that's just your Grandma and your Bubbie. I think they're more excited about you than we are.

Trips to the Doctor's
Our bi-weekly trips to the Doctor meant we could hear your heartbeat at least twice a month. Your Mom says it sounds like "Wow-wow-wow-wow-wow." My sentiments exactly. Still so steady and strong, like a song I can't get out of my head, and don't want to. I never get tired of hearing it.

Within the last four weeks, we were in the office once a week. At one point, we were concerned that you were not in the right position for your birth; you were turned upright, maybe so you could hear us better. But then, a week later, you had begun your descent, head-down. Apparently, you know better what's going on than we do. You move all the time now, almost constantly in the last week. It still makes me laugh.

A friend at work pointed out that you are a sci-fi/horror film geek's (that's me) dream come true; you grow in your mother, using her for food and water and shelter, moving around in her belly at odd times like a little alien parasite, then you're born in an explosion of pain, sweat, blood and tears, only to turn your loving parents into sleep-deprived zombies, shuffling their way through life, dead to the world outside. It's kind of awesome.

Birthdays and Anniversaries
When you get here, that day will be your birthday, and it will be in the same month as both of your parents' birthdays. Your Mom turned 30 and I just turned 31. We're young parents, but not as young as our parents were when they had us. We also celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. March is a big month in our house, and you're gonna make it even bigger.

So far, 31 is pretty special. I like it. Has a ring to it. Feels like the beginning of something.

And here we are, 3 days past your projected due date. Your room continues to fill up with gifts, and according the Doctor, on Monday your Mother was 50% effaced (which means we're getting close.) Her whole stomach seems to have 'dropped,' and you with it, in preparation for the birth. She's bigger now than she's ever been, bursting at the seams with child (like those women in the birthing books your Mother subjected me to so many months ago). She's still glowing, still beautiful; she was meant to be a Mom. Your Mom. You'll see what I'm talking about when you get here, in her eyes, you'll see.

For many months, you were baking in her tummy, now your Mother says you're just 'warming,' and soon, will be ready to come out and meet the world.

Everyone asks how we're doing everyday. Your Mother is so strong, such a trooper, as she becomes increasingly uncomfortable and anxious for you to be here. I am in a state of constant anxiety, punctuated by joy and terror. Also, my adrenaline has kicked in a bit; just a slight, steady pulse, making me hyper-aware of my surroundings and standing ready for action at a moment's notice for your Mother's phone call and the words, "it's baby time!."

Most of my own fear has subsided (having your room all set up, filled with all we'd need was a big step in the right direction) and I'm excited. I can't wait to see your face. You have one, you have had a face, always, since the beginning, but I don't know what you look like, not really. You're still so abstract to me. I know what your heart beat sounds like, I can feel you move under my hand, but I don't know what you look like. I can't wait to see your face.

We have another appt. on Monday the 30th to see what's what, but who knows, you might come before that. It's important to both of us that YOU tell us when you're ready to come.

Here are the current predictions for your arrival time:

Your Mom says you're coming tomorrow, the 26th.
Your Bubbie believes the same thing, there's a full moon that night too; apparently, that's when babies come. Also, werewolves.
I think you're gonna come this weekend. Just a feeling I have.

Keep safe in there baby, keep warming, for as long as you need. We'll be here.

When you do get here, and we have our perfect moment, I'll see your face, and kiss your little head and I'll know it's you, I'll recognize you, the little one I've been talking to all these months. I'll take your little fist around my finger and shake it, gently, and introduce myself.

Till then, and ever after,
Your Daddy